I recently read Mindy Kaling’s (you know, zany and hilarious Kelly Kapoor from The Office) book (Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns)) and I had to share the best pieces of manly advice I’ve ever heard. I wish I could claim them as my own, but then again I wish I could claim the whole book as my own, it’s that good. These are my personal favorites:
3. Own several pairs of dark wash straight-leg jeans. Don’t get bootcut, don’t get skinny, just a nice pair of levis without any embellishments on the pockets. No embellishments anywhere. At all. Nothing.
4. Wait until all the women have gotten on or off an elevator before you get on or off. Look, I’m not some chivalry nut or anything, but this small act of politeness is very visual and memorable.
5. When you think a girl looks pretty, say it, but don’t reference the thing that might reveal you are aware of the backstage process. e.g., say, “You look gorgeous tonight,” not “I like how you did your makeup tonight.” Also, a compliment means less if you compliment the thing and not the way the girl is carrying it off. so, say, “You look so sexy in those boots,” rather than “Those boots are really cool.” I didn’t make the boots! I don’t care if you like the boots’ design! We are magic to you: You have no idea how we got to look as good as we do.
6. Avoid asking if someone needs help in a kitchen or at a party, just start helping. Same goes with dishes. (Actually, if you don’t want to help, you should ask them if they need help. No self respecting host or hostess will say yes to this question.)
7. Have one great cologne that’s not from the drugstore. Just one. Wear very little of it, all the time. I cannot tell you how sexy it is to be enveloped in a hug by a man whose smell you remember. Then anytime I smell that cologne, I think of you. Way to invade my psyche, guy! Shivers-down-spine central!
9. Kiehl’s for your skin, Bumble and Bumble for your hair. Maybe a comb. That is all you need. and when girls look in your medicine cabinet (which they will obviously do within the first five minutes of them coming to your place), you look all classily self restrained because you only have two beauty products. You’re basically a cowboy.
10. I really think guys only need two pairs of shoes. a nice pair of black shoes and a pair of Chuck Taylors. The key, of course, is that you need to replace your Chuck Taylors every single year. You cannot be lax about this. Those shoes start to stink. They cost $40. You can afford a new pair every year.
12. Get a little jealous now and again, even if you’re not, strictly, a jealous guy. Too much and it’s creepy and horrible, but a possessive hand on her back at a party when your girlfriend looks super hot is awesome.
Obviously I endorse her book and it’s basically the most honest piece of literature (?) I’ve ever read that I can totally relate to. This isn’t going to be a normal occurrence, this whole book recommend thing, but if you actually want to understand what normal, intelligent, naturally beautiful women actually think like, pick up this book. And laugh. For me.
But seriously, her manly advice is spot on.