The Manly Art of Jewelry

The first rule of jewelry is don’t call it bling.

The second rule of jewelry is don’t call it bling or any other such terrible word. If you do, your jewelry rights are thereby revoked by WAMSW.

Now that we’ve got that out of the way, we can move on to our more guidelines than rules. A lot of guys stray away from necklaces, bracelets, rings, and the like because they are considered feminine, but really let’s get with it, even Paul Newman wore a necklace sometimes. If you aren’t sold by the end of this, you can always go pick out a nice watch and call it good.

Here are some items we always approve:

  • Wedding rings — with the provision that you actually are married.
  • Medical bracelets — please do not put yourself in danger because you aren’t sure if it goes with your outfit.
  • Any other single piece with personal meaning — like Eoin Macken’s necklace that has his father’s wedding ring and a gift from his mother.

Keep it simple

Here are some things we strongly advise against:

  • Anklets and toe rings — not only are these pretty girly, but they are pretty 90s too.
  • Excessive amounts of adornment — sure sometimes layering necklaces or bracelets can be good, but if they are already large or flashy in any way, keep it down to one.
  • Tongue rings — I have a friend who has one, and he is a lovely guy, but the tongue piercing is not helping him out. You can say that you don’t see it often, but really it is just going to damage your teeth and make you prone to infections. Also it will probably impede your speech.
  • Diamond earrings — real or fake, these babies just look trashy. I’m not particularly partial to any earrings on men, but if you are going there, at least make it something that is unique, interesting, and doesn’t make you look like my friend’s brother who got his ear pierced at 13 (pretty sure he doesn’t wear it anymore in his mid-twenties.
  • Ear gauges — You can’t come back from this one. Here at WAMSW we strongly advise against any jewelry or wardrobe choices that would require surgery to reverse. Small ones are less offensive, but do you really want those around you wondering what they could stick through your ear?

Other things to keep in mind:

  • Leather is always a simple, masculine way to accessorize.
  • Also metal, as long as it kept simple.
  • Jewelry shouldn’t dominate a look, but compliment it.
  • I just googled “men’s jewelry” and it was all bad. Don’t wear anything that will remind someone of Nickleback (not sorry).
  • Unless you are Richie Tenenbaum you probably shouldn’t be wearing a sweatband casually, on your head or wrist. You don’t want people thinking you are excessively sweaty.

jewelry

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