The Speedo in the Room

Chances are you aren’t Daniel Craig or Ryan Lochte (if you are, wow, and please publicize us) and there is no shame in that. We can’t all be James Bond or Olympic medalists. So please don’t insist on wearing their swimsuits.

Now when compared to women’s styles, there doesn’t seem to be a lot of selection in men’s swimwear. But here a few basic tips to impress, or at least blend in, at the beach or pool this summer:

1. Skip the Speedo/Swim Brief/ Budgie Smugglers. Please. Even competitive water sports have moved away from these to a degree. Sure you will see a good few at the Olympics this summer, that doesn’t mean they are good. This is probably one of the only popular European looks that you will hear/see me recommend against. But seriously, even your confidence doesn’t make us like this look.

2. If you are not competing at some official event at that moment, don’t wear the skin-tight jammers or shorts. You won’t look hardcore or professional, you will probably just look like you are wearing bike shorts in the pool.

3. Same goes for the mini shorts a la Daniel Craig as 007. You aren’t pulling them off.

4. Now that you are safely wearing board shorts or basic trunks, keep an eye on pattern. Hibiscus flowers (classic Hawaiian shirt pattern)? skip. Pinstripes? wear. Your nation’s flag? super skip. Color blocking? probably wear. Stick to subtle, minimal patterns.

5. And lastly, colors. Dark always looks good (pinstripes especially works with dark). Plain or color blocked suits can rock brighter colors that feel more summery and fun, but less classic. Light can be risky. Think about it, you are getting this clothing wet by definition. But, it can be done right.

Just use common sense. If you wouldn’t wear it away from the pool, think twice about it. Take a little risk, but don’t go all Borat or super patriot. Also, use sunscreen, bright red skin is not flattering on you.

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