If the shirt fits

Dear Gentleman of the World,

Please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please stop wearing shlumpy dress shirts. Please.

I’m ever so tired of seeing this:

Trust me, you’re not doing yourselves (or any young ladies) any favors by wearing any form of these abominations atrocities shirts. In fact you look a little like your dad let you borrow his shirt for the day. That’s a fun statement to make.

It would be more fitting (pun intended) if you wore something more along these lines:

Notice the differences between these two sets: the bottom features torsos that are tapered, while the top shows men who are clearly unsure whether or not they have a waist/abs/body. The shoulders of the fitted shirts end at the shoulders while the others end somewhere along the mid upper arm (because that makes sense). The bottom photos’ sleeves are fitted, not tight, and end at the wrist comfortably (presumably, in some of the photos) while the top pictures are billowy and would probably be more at home in a different century. To top it off the ill-fitted guys look scrawny while the bottom men look well-built yet trim. I could go on but I’ll stop there.

Fitted shirts make a world of difference. I, myself, tend to swoon when I see a young (or old) man wearing a fitted dress shirt. When your shirt is fitted you’re making a statement. That statement is: that you take yourself seriously, that you take what you’re doing seriously, and that you should definitely be taken seriously. You never knew a shirt could say so much, did you? Fitted shirts are pretty powerful.

Now, I realize that buying a dress shirt may not be easy. You usually can’t even see it in it’s full form since it comes in a little square package, and the sizing goes by the neck and sleeve length, odd. But that doesn’t mean it is impossible to get the right cut. First off, there will generally be mannequins modeling each type of shirt (check for safety pins in the back). Second, if you don’t know your neck size or sleeve length click here for a tutorial on how to figure that out. And third (and most important for my argument), there are a few key words to look for (Athletic, Fitted, Slim Cut), find the tag and if it sounds like it fits closer to your body (or in good in other ways) get it.

Please don’t be offended if you’ve committed this crime worn one of the first category of shirts, everyone does it. But who doesn’t want to stand out from their peers? The perfect way to do that is to wear a shirt that fits and flatters you. I promise that at least your female peers will thank you for it.

Best Regards,

Women Everywhere (and this one in particular)

PS: Obviously, I don’t know all the ins and outs of buying a dress shirt (collars, darts, cuffs, etc). If you want a few more (and better) pointers check out this article by GQ.

– Rachel


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